So I've moved to weekly appointments because of a slightly high amount of amniotic fluid they noted in my ultrasound 2 weeks ago. It's concerning, because this could lead to preterm labor, which would just add to the challenges our girl has. I had my first weekly monitoring last week and baby girl passed all of her tests just fine, but they noticed I was having pretty frequent contractions. They aren't painful (which is good), but something to keep an eye on.
This of course brings me back to that ugly state of worry. Last week was pretty rough as I tried to stick to a really low glucose diet (to hopefully help with the amniotic fluid issue) and drink more water (for the contractions) and not worry that every tiny contraction could be turning into labor. It was frustrating, because I've felt so much peace recently about God having her life in His hands. It was so much easier when it was trusting Him with her and not having to trust Him to take care of me too. Sometimes when things are clearly out of your control (baby having enlarged ventricles), it's easier to say "Ok God, this is Yours. I surrender and trust You." Then, when it's something you can exert a little more control over, you (I) drive yourself crazy trying to do everything perfectly so you don't mess up the plan. In reality, I don't have control over when I go into labor. That's in God's control too. I can follow all of the guidance to the best of my ability (limit simple carbs, try for 100 oz of water), but there's no peace until I give that to God. I can't just trust Him with parts of this situation, I have to trust Him with the WHOLE thing. I also have to continually trust Him with each detail that comes up. There are times when it feels like it's all just piling up and the tiniest thing is the straw that breaks the camel's back. The lesson I'm learning is that everyday, multiple times a day even, I have give each of those little pieces of straw to God, and give them back when I take them back.
Seth got to join me for today's appointments, which helped me so much. I'm still having frequent Braxton Hicks contractions (although I don't even feel the majority of them). The doctor asked me how much water I was drinking. Imagine my surprise when I proudly announced that I had been drinking 70 oz of water daily (which I had upped a lot from the prior week) and he told me that still wasn't enough. Whew, I might float away. If anyone has any suggestions how to drink 100 oz a day, I'm open!
In other news, though, my amniotic fluid levels are back in the normal range (although the high end of normal). I still have to stick with the lower glucose diet, but I'm getting used to that. (Halloween was challenging, but I'll survive.) She's still doing a great job growing, moving (ouch) and practicing her breathing. The sonographer commented today on how strong she is (in relation to her kicks and punches), and I smiled to myself thinking about how strong she is in more ways than one. Her left and right ventricles (the fluid in her brain) did slightly increase in size, but in line with her head growth, which is normal. All of this is definitely reassuring.
Thanks for continuing to walk this road with us! If you are praying for us, here are some specifics:
- Pray for the amniotic fluid to stay in normal range
- Pray that I will not go into labor in November. Once we get to December, she will have a much easier (and less risky) time getting to where she needs to be.
- Pray that her brain continues to experience good growth (there is tissue growing)!
- Pray that her ventricles would even start decreasing in size and that she wouldn't even need surgical intervention when she's born.
- Pray that if she does need surgery, that she'll be a good candidate, there will be no complications and it will give her a great quality of life.
- Pray for my sleep. I have restless legs and pretty bad heartburn. I'm also just getting to the stage where I'm generally a little more uncomfortable. The anxiety doesn't help either.
Thank you again for your overwhelming support! 💗
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