Since I've lost weight , a number of people have told me that I have inspired them to lose weight and get healthy. That is amazing and humbling. Don't get me wrong, I love helping to motivate someone to be more healthy, but it really made me examine my own motives for getting skinny. I think it started out to be more healthy. Before I lost weight, I was slightly "overweight", but was active and pretty much healthy and happy in all other respects. My goal was to get into a healthy weight range. I started going to Weight Watchers, attending meetings and logging my "points" in online. I had great encouragement from friends doing Weight Watchers too - sharing recipes and meals and helpful words. But like many things in life, too much of a good thing can sort of turn you upside down. I was very successful with my weight loss and felt so good about the control I had over my eating and working out. I was good at losing weight and I became obsessed. I reached the goal that I had set (about 15 lbs above the low end of the range for someone my height), which I felt like I could maintain without feeling deprived. I did 6 weeks of maintenance and lost about a pound more, which was still right on track. Over the course of 4 months I lost about 10 more pounds as I obsessed about every piece of food I put in my mouth and paid my penance at the gym. My boyfriend has been encouraging me, almost since the time we met, to chill out about it. My mom gets frustrated with me when I bring food to her house. My friends ask me to go out to eat or e-mail me about their concern. And I love them for it. And I know it's a problem. And slowly, but surely, I am changing and letting go of control, but it's a long road for me. I am proud of the weight I lost, and will probably gain a little bit back as I let go of control, which is hard for me to think about, but I know it's good. (I am NOT buying anymore new clothes though! This whole losing weight thing could break the bank!) I learned GREAT tools from Weight Watchers about choices and moderation, which I am trying to put into practice without obsessing anymore. I pray daily that in ALL areas of my life, I would release control and give it to God. Seriously, I have to ask for this every morning.
I only say all this to request that you don't use me as your inspiration to "get skinny," although if you see me make healthier choices and think "I can do that too," then by all means, go for it. And to those who have told me I've inspired them - THANK YOU! Your words definitely encouraged me and even now are helping me to get healthier. I thank the Lord that I am healthy and fit and able to do so many things. I would much rather be an inspiration, though, to leverage a healthy body for God's glory. Rather than "she's skinny", I want to hear, "she has a lot of energy to serve the Lord." Actually, don't tell me that, just use your energy for the same!
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ Mark 12:30
I hope my story will inspire you as well to seek the Lord in the areas where we fail and let him lift us up!
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
I don't have it together. I don't get it right even half the time, but thank the Lord, He never lets me go.
And just to give you a little taste of my progress -
This was dessert on Saturday night, and thank the Lord I didn't even feel guilty! :-)
Like me, you may not take the best photographs, or have the most interesting opinions, but your story is worth sharing!!
val -- it's been a while but i love reading your blog! thanks for being so real and vulnerable. that is def inspiring. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks D! It's great to hear from you! Life is such a journey, for sure. I'd love to catch up sometime!!
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